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Post By
Hulk rules all

In Reply To
Public Enemy #1

Subj: Breaking news I tells ya....
Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 12:07:19 am EST (Viewed 1 times)
Reply Subj: CM: No.
Posted: Sat Jan 06, 2007 at 06:03:36 am EST


President Bush is on television informing the nation that Bin Laden has been captured when all of a sudden there is a switch to really important breaking news that has Professor Hulk interviewing Karnak of the Inhumans.
Professor Hulk: "Karnak, it is presumed that you can pinpoint the weakest area in an opponents body, is that true?"
Karnak: "Yes, this is my gift. I have scanned you and I for the first time cannot find any weakness. You are beyond incredible, quite astonishing. I am humbled to my soul and honored to share the same space as you."
Professor Hulk (blushing): Now, Karnak, that was a great compliment. I do pride myself in being known as the Asgardian stomper, the greatest team buster in comics and the undisputed champion of the universe. But enough of me, how about the Silver Surfer, Thanos, Thor, Beta Ray Bill and Odin?"
Karnak: "Well, the Silver Surfer has no genitalia and because of the lack of testosterone, he is a mild pacifist and a cosmic Ken doll wrapped in tin foil. His weakness is he has no gender and therefore is doomed to confusion and little man syndrome. He is his worst enemy and will be his own demise. I did knock him out with a brick so all you need is a brick and kinda hit him on the top of the head. That'll do the trick. He's quite fragile in my humble opinion."
"Thanos. Kick him in his heart, that's where his weakness is as he is always longing for Death for what I cannot fathom. He is brilliant but a great fool also. Such a polar disorder he has."
"Thor. I don't know where to start. He has a glass jaw that the slightest hit and it will break into more pieces than Humpty Dumpty. He has soft skin so he hurts himself shaving all the time. He has a hard time sitting as he has lots of pimples on his stomped flat, hairless, backside. He speaks like a sissy and is a sissy. If I fought him, I would be worried I would hurt him so he's a hard opponent to face. His only saving grace is his walking plot device, Mjolnir. Now I fear that 'cause it where bad writing starts and ends."
"Odin. Well, he is over the hill and an old fart. And he tends to clutch at his bony and scrawny chest all the time threatening to have a heart attack that gets stale. He only has one eye and the other eye is full of cataracts so the old man can't see. He has a spear that no one is afraid of as he can't even hold it up since its too heavy for him. He got more arthritis in him than a terminate eaten log, dude is on his way out. Feel sorry for the old geezer."
"Beta Ray Bill. One ugly MF if you ask me. He is the eight toothed wonder who looks like a cross between a mule and an wart hog. He hasn't brushed his eight teeth in years, hasn't bathed even longer, his urine colored hammer is full of some kind of liquid, I don't know where to start. If I fought him, I would kick him in his gaping maw of a mouth and break his eight teeth right off. I think that would kill him right out. Then he would be shipped to the glue factory. That's about it."
Professor Hulk: "Thanks Karnak. The world is that much more knowledgable because of your great wisdom."

Hulk rules all. Case closed.


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