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Subj: GoonMatch.com [Parody]
Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 at 11:21:31 pm EST (Viewed 441 times)
Are you Down on your luck?
Have No appreciable skills?
Like Hurting People?
Well GoonMatch.com is for you
Whether you are a goon, a mook, a crony, a thug, or a ne'er-do-weller we can connect you with the Crime Boss, Super-villain, Despot or Overlord to match your particular skill set and abilities. Minions like you are a hot commodity in today's crime fighter filled world.
But GoonMatch.com is more than just that. We have access to hundreds of Shyster Lawyers and Underground Medical Clinics for all of your needs. Forced into doing a job because a loved one is kidnapped, GoonMatch.com has personnel specifically trained to return your loved one once you've done your job.
For those of you with higher aspirations there is Goon Match Elite services. Here you will have access to Bought-And-Paid-For Politicians, Cops on the take, Corrupt Judges, Mad Scientists and more. Gone are the days of word of mouth referrals, who turn out to be plants. GoonMatch employees the most sophisticated screening processes to insure that your new minion isn't secretly a crime fighter.
Your privacy at GoonMatch.com is our number one priority. We employee over a dozen dedicated experts who keep your data safe from prying eyes.
Sign up with GoonMatch.com today and make your criminal dreams a reality
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