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Subj: Giant-Size X-Men - Magneto #1: No man is an island-collector... well, except for Erik...
Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2020 at 10:30:30 am EDT (Viewed 172 times)
Giant-Size X-Men: Magneto 001
Magneto stands on an island.
Magneto walks on an island.
Magneto sits on an island.
Magneto collects islands.
Magneto chitchats with Namor on an island.
Magneto swims in waters far under the island.
Magneto refuses The Lady or the Tiger ultimatum.
Magneto gifts an island to Emma.
However if that is too snarky a review, here's a alternative review...
Exhaustingly safe poser cover.
4 pages of Magneto just standing on an, sadly unpinpointed, island just looking out to sea. Yawn. Apparently Mags knack for 'acquiring islands' is 'a thing' for him. Rolls eyes. Evidentally, he's into 'just waiting', too. Intro of some old codger.
5 pages of Magneto just sitting at dinner table. Yawn. A lazy 'THEN' timestamp. Secret meetings behind Quiet Council's back 'cuz everybody does it, Readers not made privy to Emma's plan 'cuz it;'s supposed to add mystery agenda. Who knows if it should be more exciting than her previous build a boat bore. Probably not. Intro of some throwaway Top Chef wannabe named Sauciers 'cuz it's supposed to be fun to a MUTANT chef with a wordplay name and a more surly attitude than Gordon Ramsey. [Missed opp to reuse chef Adelbert Greywing instead.]
Mags power: he lifts a bottle of (cheap metal cap) wine.
3 more pages on the island - sitting this time.
Enter Namor. HE owns the rights to this island?? The unnamed caretaker is his respected HUMAN confidant and servant (a retcon just like the last Invaders mini had)?? 2 extremely interesting details completely glossed over. And WTH is a 'GRESH'?? Can't find an online dictionary meaning (maybe similar to that weird emergency contact protocol in the last Invaders maxi?).
Longtime readers know Namor happily slept with Emma in past so that may be the motivation for him negotiating to help. But in-story he has just as much reason as Mag's implied admiration for all things White Queen. No true narrative characterization - just facials.
A team-up is formed because Namor can't open and ancient metal door. Bah. Mags wears some unexplained odd bubble helmet 'cuz it's cooler to see his face in this adventure. Not.
Mags power: he opens a antiquitous underwater portal - so, a door.
Monsters Du Jour are introduced: Supple Squiddie Sirens. Instead of a vicarious fight the mutants play an aquatic version of Lady or the Tiger. Mags is better at the game and wins some unexplained key. Namor let's him keep the key and keep the island 'cuz he's so generous like that. Rolls eyes.
Mags power: he builds an incredible castle out of parts of ship.
Mags shows the island to Emma like some Phil Dunphy wannabe and also shows readers just how clueless he is as to her intentions - which was quite unsatisfying open ended conclusion.
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