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Post By
neil

In Reply To
KD

Subj: Re: Issue with my Best friend and Roomate...
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 at 06:04:46 pm EST
Reply Subj: Issue with my Best friend and Roomate...
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 at 02:19:30 am EST

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Well long story short,my best friend and college roommate (we'll call him Steve) was basically having a "mental affair" with one our friends girlfriends (we'll call them Jeff and Gina).

Jeff and Gina went to HS with Steve and he's better friends with Jeff friend than I am. Well anyway, Gina broke up with Jeff for Steve, but told Jeff that it was due to her being unhappy in the relationship (a bs reason) and is now sorta together with my Steve (he's been basically living at her dorm for the past week).

My issue in this is that I'm utterly disgusted with both Steve and Gina because Steve doesn't think he did anything wrong (Gina told him that she was going to break up with Jeff anyway), and while I haven't heard Gina's reason, she's probably saying she was "unhappy" in the relationship and that her personal happiness superseded Jeff and his feelings.

Frankly someone needs to say something because what we have is two people who think that they're morally upstanding who have done something EXTREMELY sleazy and worst yet are justifying it with BS reasons and even more deception.

To see one of my friends pull something this low makes me question them and our friendship and the possibility that he would screw me over as well (especially for a woman). And truthfully, I'm REALLY disappointed in him. You always think your friends and family are just as good and moral people as you are (or as you think you are) and even when they do something wrong, admit their BS just like any respectable person.

I know that if anybody should say something it should be Jeff, but he's too heartbroken over the break up and loves Gina too much to confront her about her crap. He also thinks its his fault which is also why he won't say anything to Steve either. In fact I think he still may think Steve is his FRIEND (Jeff just may be really gullible).

SO Community message board, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

KD

> Well anyway, Gina broke up with Jeff for Steve, but told Jeff that it was due to her being unhappy in the relationship (a bs reason) and is now sorta together with my Steve (he's been basically living at her dorm for the past week).

While my response amounts to 'say nothing', I'm not one of those 'it's none of your business' people. I'm of the mind that friends look out for friends when necessary - I just don't think that it's necessary in this situation.

So lemme get all of this straight: Gina broke up with Jeff before anything physical happened between Gina and Steve? You can't really blame Gina for her feelings changing or for becoming interested in someone else, nor do I think you can blame Steve for becoming interested in his friend's girlfriend - it's not like we can consciously decide to be attracted to someone or not, can we? So what is it that you're blaming her for? Because it seems to me that breaking up with Jeff - rather than lying and going behind his back - is actually the opposite of sleazy. She could have been more honest in her reasons for breaking up with him, maybe, but if that honesty would hurt Jeff then why do that?

-neil
neil's blog



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