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The Black Guardian

Location: Paragon City, RI
Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
In Reply To

Location: Incriptus
Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 4,738
Subj: Re: Irrational Fears
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 02:11:42 am EDT (Viewed 564 times)
Reply Subj: Irrational Fears
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 at 12:58:02 am EDT (Viewed 837 times)

Previous Post

So it turns out I am terrified of hospital rooms. I went to visit my sister and her new born son in the hospital, as soon as I got in the building I had a feeling of . . . dread. When I actually got in the room, I was on the verge of having a panic attack. I was having difficult breathing and I could feel my heart just racing. All the feelings I had when I spent 3 months in a hospital last year just came back, and I could barely spend 10 minutes in there. In addition to the horrible feeling of being afraid of something as stupid as a room, I feel like a bad brother for leaving so quickly.

It's not always present, but I can be very social phobic. There are times when it takes all of my emotional energy to leave the house. Even speaking to my wife and daughter can be stressful (and not in any normal way), and so much as speaking to a cashier can freak me out. Other days, this doesn't seem to be much of an issue, though the sense of dread always looms. It causes me to rarely look people in the eye, and I've caught myself stuttering more than once.

It really pisses me off, too, because I was extremely outgoing as a child. I was one of those kids that always hammed it up, never held my tongue, etc. I used to do a lot of stage performing. Then around the time puberty started, I started to shrink into myself, and it's slowly gotten progressively worse since.

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