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Location: Saint Louis, MO
Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 2,483
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Location: Incriptus
Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 4,738
Subj: Re: I'm not sure this counts as irrational, but I'm claustrophobic
Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 at 11:34:19 pm EDT (Viewed 726 times)
Reply Subj: Irrational Fears
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 at 12:58:02 am EDT (Viewed 837 times)

Previous Post

So it turns out I am terrified of hospital rooms. I went to visit my sister and her new born son in the hospital, as soon as I got in the building I had a feeling of . . . dread. When I actually got in the room, I was on the verge of having a panic attack. I was having difficult breathing and I could feel my heart just racing. All the feelings I had when I spent 3 months in a hospital last year just came back, and I could barely spend 10 minutes in there. In addition to the horrible feeling of being afraid of something as stupid as a room, I feel like a bad brother for leaving so quickly.

it's weird; it generally depends on the space itself. i can do large crowds of people as long as i have freedom of movement with my arms and legs. but small areas (like closets) sorta freak me out. at my job we have one of those older elevators where you manually close the door then slide a grate to before the elevator starts. i'm about 6'4" and the space in the elevator itself is about 5' wide, 7.5' high and 8' deep. once the door is closed there's only one small window to see outside, and in the shaft between floors its just pure concrete (seems like its probably a dozen feet thick). i rode that sucker once, and refuse to ever again while i live. i seriously believe my mind would collapse on itself if i ever got stuck in that thing. at my older job there was a similarly sized newer elevator made almost entirely of glass. i could do that one just fine (probably because i could actually see outside), but the one at my new job, not a chance.

strange enough, the complete opposite tends to freak me out too; open space, sorta like being on a ship surrounded by nothing but water. my fiancee's from a rural/country part of southern Illinois. when we travel to her parents for family functions we pass through this area where there's nothing but endless fields for farming stretching nearly to the horizon. it always creeps me out. kinda gives me the sense that i'm infinitely insignificant and will be lost forever. not as bad as the claustrophobia, but bad enough.

another thing, while not a fear, is the sight of webbed glass, like the back window of a car that's been shattered but hasn't fallen through. something about the sight of it makes me itch all over.

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