I've never been able to figure out why I dont personally hold O'neills spider-man in better regard. it has so many elements I enjoy, obscure villains, good character moments, hard luck parker, etc. I can never understand why it didnt click with me.
For me, it hit me in that sweet spot, when I was 11 years old, on the brink of becoming a comic book collector instead of just a reader. O’Neill’s run does have the attributes you mentioned (I especially like the oddball Spidey/Subby pairings), but it also has the rather poor Lonesome Pincus gag, the King King rip-off (which I unashamedly love) and Peter treating Deb Whitman terribly. It’s a mixed bag but I give it a thumbs up overall, especially when you include Annuals 14 & 15.
Moench’s FF is a little harder to defend. It was from around the same time, so, again, I have nostalgia, but I think what I enjoyed was that it was written like a horror book starring the FF, a nice twist on the usual sci-fi/super hero stories.