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Location: St. Louis, MO
Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 12,418
In Reply To

Location: St. Louis, MO
Member Since: Sat May 17, 2008
Posts: 12,418
Subj: A LITTLE Bit Of An Update...
Posted: Sun Aug 16, 2015 at 02:22:00 am EDT (Viewed 304 times)
Reply Subj: Okay... (Off Topic)
Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 at 02:36:11 am EDT (Viewed 366 times)

Previous Post

I'm going to be taking a leave of absence from moderating in a week or two (probably sooner) due to surgery I'm going to be having. I'll be leaving this board in VERY capable hands, so have no fear of that.

If you want to read my Facebook posts about it, here are the links. It's not very pretty, though.

August 3 at 10:08pm

August 4 at 9:08pm

August 13 at 11:26pm

I'm posting this bulletin on all the boards I moderate to let everyone know what's going on. I WILL be back, but I'm just gonna go on hiatus for a bit. I'll be here until it's time to go to the hospital, and with any further updates. \:\)

Well, Saturday was a HUGE disappointment. I was looking on eBay for eye patches, and every single seller had the same kind of statement on the page: "Only fifty left!" "Only 200 left!" "Only 20,000,000,493 left!" Geez, guys! I need an eye patch for the RIGHT eye here! Why would I CARE about how many left eye patches they had for sale?

Then I tried to find an eye patch I liked. Sure, they had a skull and crossbones, but EVERYONE'S gonna expect THAT one on me. I'll probably have to rent it out to Coca-Cola or something until I get my eye patch custom made.

Say! THERE'S an idea! I'll bet Visine will pay me NOT to advertise their product on my eye patch! It's a win-win scenario for me!

Ennyway, the eye patch I REALLY wanted to get but couldn't find online was the mud flap girl. I just don't see how NO one thought she would have been a great idea to have as an eye patch! There's got to be THOUSANDS of rednecks out there who shot out their own eyes while they was out huntin' squirrel an' possums fer Sunday dinner. Then, every time they passed by a mirror (like when they're gonna brush their tooth), they'll get to see her! It's a GENIUS idea, I say!

Then, I've GOTTA talk to my docs! I'm gonna have to get plastic surgery on me face. I'm gonna ask 'em to make me look like Christopher Reeve. Barring that, I'll ask 'em to use clear plastic, so I can rent myself out to anatomy and plastic surgery classes nationwide. I'll also end up winning "Scariest Mask" in EVERY Halloween costume party I wanna go to.

I'll be able to rent myself as a dietary aid, too. If you're overweight and wanna eat something, I'll shove my face in front of you and stay there until you pick up a carrot or celery stalk. ;\)

Then, there's still the matter of the parrot. Everyone sez to get the skull an' crossbones patch. C'mon! A parrot would be FAR too predictable! If I was gonna get a boid, it MIGHT be a rubber chicken! Then again, I could be REALLY original, and go to KFC and pick up a fried breast, couple of wings and two drumsticks. Then I'll do like Dr. Frankenstein and staple the whole shebang together. THAT would be a bird ANY pirate would be proud to wear! ;\)

Well, that's it fer now. I'll probably find out Monday when da soy-jury takes place. Thank you, and be sure to tip your waitresses. \:\)

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