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Subj: Re: Hellions #3: Is it worth taking another crack at?
Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2020 at 10:01:30 am EDT (Viewed 104 times)
Reply Subj: Hellions #3: Is it worth taking another crack at?
Posted: Sat Aug 29, 2020 at 04:49:33 pm EDT (Viewed 109 times)

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Hellions 003

The recyclable Marauders, Sinister's Marauders (curse Kitty confusing matters by naming her team the same), and Marvel's inconsistent handling of clones in the MU is hardly my favourite inclusion as story element. The cover was seductive and bothersome elements from LAST ISSUE, were not really the focus as the characters evolve in this chapter. Granted, there was a lot of flesh-flaying fetish to deal with but the rest of it amounted to a better read than X-Factor #2 OR X-Men #11? this week. And Stephen Segovia & David Curiel art was okay, too.

Here, we also get...

Another opening Nightcrawler quote for no reason. Huh.

Somewhat decent opening recap who Goblin Queen is. Although footnotes would've been better. Talk about inferiority complex clashes with identity crisis! And creepy motivations of her and (still Inverted?) Alex intertwining was well presented. That dramatic, throwupinyourmouth, splash-page kiss effectively sealed their deal.

Thankfully Psylocke surviving and simply showing uber-regenerating Wildchild who's the boss had some fine visceralness to it. But taking 7 pages to do 1 mano a mano showing between 2 that will just be resurrected, took away from enough diverse story content. Hmm... was Gibney ever THIS uncontrollable when in Alpha Flight? Hmm... did Kwannon ever win such a decisive CBMB-worthy victory over Sabretooth - or was that always Betsy fighting him?

Maddie and Greycrow have some kind of muddled history. Someone online clarified it all stems back to an "attack is shown in flashback in Uncanny X-Men vol 1 #215, and it involved Scalphunter and Arclight taking her baby". That baby was Nate X-Man, right? Goblin's command over them both provides the first satisfying cliffhanger.

Then there's that infuriating INFOGRAPHIC TEXT from a needlessly untold author. The person analyzes if Pyslocke is more bad or bad-ass. Readers can already see she is - both. MAYBE if we knew who wrote it we'd at least get characterization for their future meeting ,it wouldn't seem such a waste of space. Well, it's not Psy, Cyke, Xavier, or Sinister and probably a core Uncanny X-men member predating Uncanny X-Men vol 1 #21.

Marvel doing "Zombie" clones is potentially even more problematic logic than "Plain" clones because reading about Marvel Undead is another peeving kettle of dead fish to ignore/accept. And next issue we're promised AN ARMY OF MARAUDERS invading Krakoa. The gist of it is straight forward enough but any forthcoming exposition finesse would be much better. On the plus side, the Zombie Marauders literally take a fine crack at the annoying/silly Nanny and Orphan-Maker and will probably/hopefully end up exposing their needlessly-old, under-anticipated mystery identities. That same online source, cited X-Factor vol 1 #33-35 as one clue hinting O-M has a containment suit for some mutant WMD. Looks like he's some sort of animated goop. This attack provides the second satisfying cliffhanger.

Did you find this ish all it was cracked up to be?


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I had hopes that this weird X-team would at least make for fun, interesting stories. Unfortunately this book is being written in a paint-by-numbers formula for 5 issue arcs. Unless you're a delightful writer like PAD or Dan Slott or someone like that, this leaves your 2nd, 3rd, and probably 4th issues boring and inching along.

Whatever this Goblin Queen story is supposed to accomplish, it should have been a 2 parter. All in all, this book is falling flat. It's not that it CAN'T be good, it's that the creators are constraining themselves to an easy but unentertaining formula. This book should be intense, fast paced, weird, and funny. Instead, it's gratuitous in a tame way.

A book with a team this dysfunctional should leave us wondering what crazy thing could possibly happen next at the end of every issue. They're not doing that. Instead, it's like at the end of #1: there's going to be a fight.
End of #2: there's BEEN part of a fight.
End of #3: This fight is still going on.

Looking at such a botched line-up, the only logical conclusion was that the writer MUST have had some big ideas for these characters, or else why use them? But all in all, it hasn't been interesting beyond #1, and it doesn't promise to get more interesting.

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